Your Child Has Gone to Jail. What happens to the Grandchildren?

Your Child Has Gone to Jail. What happens to the Grandchildren?

A lot of grandparents have to step in and take care of their grandchildren. As parents, we do not want to see our children get into trouble with the law. But when they do, we, as parents have to let the law handle them. They are adults and should know right from wrong. The big issue here is, what to do about the grandchildren.

It is hard to believe, but there are some grandparents who will not take their grandchildren, if the parents get into trouble with the law. They just don't want to deal with the issues involved. There are other parents that will take them in a heart beat. No matter what the parents issues are.

There is a lot to taking custody of grandchildren when the parent or parents are in trouble with the law. Whether it is temporary or permanent, child protection is involved. There is the paperwork, background checks, fingerprinting, court hearings and even monthly visits from a caseworker.

If, as a grandparent, you find your self in this situation, there is help available. The place to start is of course with your local child protection agency. They are there to help. In most cases, child protection would much rather keep the children with family. Putting them in foster care with strangers is very hard on the children. Keeping them with family is a much better situation for all involved.

Be proactive. If your child has been getting into trouble with the law, contact child protection. Give them your information. Tell them you want the children to come to you if things get worse. Don't worry about giving your kids a “bad name” . If they are in trouble with the law, child protection already knows what is going on. Contact from you gives the authorities another option instead of foster care with strangers. They also have access to other services that you will need.

If your child is in major trouble with the law, and is looking at serious jail time, the paper work for temporary custody should be started as soon as possible. You may even want to consider consulting with a lawyer. To protect the children. Someone needs to have legal guardianship to sign for medical care, school, and even mental health care.

Whatever the issue is, as grandparents, we have to protect the grandchildren. They are the innocent victims of their parents bad behavior and deserve to stay with family.

Here is my favorite resource: worth every penny for the advise! Grandparents Rights For Custody And/or Visitation.

Finding good daycare-cheaper is not always better.

Those of us who are parents know how hard it is to find quality and affordable childcare. I know, from experience, that cheaper is not always the best way to go. Before we had our third child, I did get a job with a very good friend. We thought we were doing so good! The sitter we found was a friend who lived in the same apartment complex. We used to visit her a lot before we became employed. We let our children play together, bake cookies, get together once or twice a month and cook dinner for all 3 of our families.

Mary and I decided we should get jobs. Our friend said she could watch our children for 30 bucks a week! That is a great price for 2 kids. We found a job together doing some post construction cleaning in the Dallas, TX area.

I will never forget that fateful day when Mary got a phone call from her husband. We were cleaning a building that looked over the Cowboys practice field. We had decided to take our lunch closer to watch them practice. Mary received a call right before we were going to lunch break. As she was listening to the caller, I saw her face turn a frighting shade of white and she almost passed out! When she was finished with her call, she was hysterical. It took what seemed to be and eternity to get her to tell me what happened.

Her husband was calling from the hospital in Garland. The Dr. told him that her son, Christopher, had sustained a sever head injury and needed to be life-flighted to a nearby children's hospital. We rushed to the hospital as fast as we could. When we arrived, the Doctor met us at the entry to the ER with child protection. They told us that little Christopher's injury was not caused by a fall. The type of injury to his head could have only came from being dropped or falling from 6' or higher. Her baby was dieing. There was nothing they could do.

Mary passed out. Smelling salts were brought in to revive her. We were taken to the childrens hospital where he had been taken. For about a week the little guy wouldn't give up. Mary, her husband, and I all stayed and cried and held his little hand. We were all with him the day he stopped fighting.

There was an investigation by child protection and they inspected the other children in the sitters care. Questionable marks and bruises were found on Mary's 2 year old daughter, my 2 year old son and my 3 month old daughter. After the case workers eliminated us, as the parents as the abusers, they concentrated on the sitter. We just couldn't believe our friend could hurt our children. We were devistated!

The trial was long and drawn out. Almost a year later, we found out the true story of how little 13 month old Christopher was injured. The sitter admitted to not being able to handle him that day. He was a "cry baby". That day she just couldn't take it. She sent a little 13 year old neighbor child outside with the other children and proceeded to slam that little guy's head onto a dresser and concrete floor until he stopped crying, forever.

The sitter was sentenced to life in prison for causing injury resulting in death to a minor child. She is still there to this day.

This was the time in my life that I decided I would never trust another person to care for my children. Until they were old enough to speak up when something was wrong, I would stay home with them.

As parents we are supposed to protect our children from people who would do them harm. It is very difficult to know who to trust. Anyone can become a certified sitter. That is still no guarantee that your children will be cared for properly. When looking into day care, use the technology that is available. Do a background check on the potential care giver. Conduct several visits and interviews. Find out as much as you can about who you will.

Full Circle

It seems my life has come full circle. I have come to the conclusion that I was meant to raise children. My loving husband, Alex and I have 5 children. Three are mine and two are his. Three of them are now single parents of 7 great kids! I must say that I just love being a grandma!

I began my married life at the ripe old age of 18 and had all 3 of my children by 22. I chose to stay at home with my children after a babysitter killed my best friends little boy while Mary and I were working. Our children were at the same sitter! From that moment, I decided to take care of my own children!

Once my children were in school, I got my first drivers license at the ripe old age of 30. A short time later I started some college classes. My husband at the time was an alcoholic, who did not want me to become independent. He started to become violent. In the end, when our children were teenagers, we divorced.

I then worked 2 or 3 jobs for several years. I missed a lot of the children's teenage years, but we got through. Now they are all grown up and on their own. Two of my children have been through bad marriages, and are now divorced, trying to raise their children on their own. One of my husband's is also now a single parent. I lost my job over 2 years ago. Long story short, things happened to keep me home.

Now I am a stay-at-home grandma. There are 7 of the wonderful little people. I must say they are a joy! But there are days when I just don't know how I did it so many years ago!

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